why can't i be normal.
why can't i just go to school talk with my friends have a good time come home do my homework be productive and finish all that is needed to be done.

i think i make things more difficult. or maybe i'm just difficult to be around.

my homework lays sprawled out in a messy neglected pile that consumes the furthest point in the back of my mind while i sit and stare out into the freezing weather feeling the cold creep up my spine. is it all intertwined?

nothing should be this hard. i wish everything didn't depend on this stupid chemical imbalance existing within me.

i'm in a ranting mood. has today been like every other day? does everyone live so goddamn far away from reality? i think i'm insane. i'm probably the one furthest from reality at this point.

my reality is waking up to feel no joy. but why? is it my procrastination, the lack of effort i put forth, my loneliness, my easily deceived mind?

if somehow something or someone could answer all of these questions for me, instead of me having to try to decipher these puzzles twisting my mind, then please just come soon.